Thursday, August 24, 2006
my heart is thumping against my chest like MAD. and goodness-know-when i might get a heart attack and die. omg, i seriously dont want to be expelled from that stupid act of mine. okay, not stupid, but rather, a hasty act of mine. i totally regret it now.BUT ITS TOO LATE!
albeit i found this incident quite exhilarating, but bUT BUT! the price i MIGHT pay is going to be huge. take for example, if i were to be expelled, this means that my future is gone for sure. not only that, it will lead to a hell load of chained events to FALL UPON me. i seriously dont want this to happen. i've a good future. i want to lead a good life. i want to.. i want to.. i want to..........................
BUT I DONT WANT TO BE EXPELLED.
okay, it might sound abit exaggerated to be acting so sober and tensed up. you must really spare some thought for me. this is my first attempt of truancy in my whole life and the price i am going to pay for it is DAMN huge alright?
albeit i confessed to my parents about my wrongdoing and they dont seem to be bothered; told my cousins and best friends and they said its ok, nothing will happen, but i just have this guilt in me. OH-FUCK. ops, sry to be so vulgar. but i am afraid, afriad that things will go wrong tomorrow. and the worse thing is, i aint prepared for it.
oh dear, i never have been so panicky,tensed,petrified,pistified blah blah before ever in my whole life. not even in the major exams. while, the panic factor isnt as great during major exams as compared to this. WTH. WTS (its what-the-shit if you are oblivious to it).
i swear, i will turn over a new leaf and be a goody-two-shoes from now on.
and i'd better.
mark my word for it.
posted by Pepsi on 10:01 PM
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“Aiyah, just go ahead lah. We are not going to be the “ONLY-ONES” doing it. Just go CAN?” jing xiang snapped.
We went down the steep slope, hands gripping on firmly to the green fence leading us down to the bottom of the slope. We reached there facing no difficulties. The metal grill of the drain shimmered, as we walked to very place whereby we planned to escape.
Upon reaching there, we shrieked in disgust; as we didn’t expect that the fence was “thateasy” to be overcome. Then, engkien starts the ball rolling. He jumped up effortlessly and *thud* off he goes. He was finally out of the school compound. Tunkuang was next. He sustained a mild scratch in his palm but still, managed to get through the fence. Jingxiang, on the contrary, wasn’t as lucky as the both of them. He didn’t manage to get through the fence initially but after umpteen times of trying, he finally got through (tearing part of his uniform and scratched his palm). While, needless to say, I got through as well.
To sum up, I DECLARE our plan of escaping from the school’s sports day a SUCCESS! Woo.. this was my first time doing this kind of “truancy” thing and I was intimidated. Wild thoughts weaved in and out of my mind thinking that I will be caught and be expelled from the school. Argh. But rest assure. Many of my classmates used the same escape route and yes, they managed to get out of school without being caught as well.
FOR THE TIME BEING, THOUGH.
The adrenaline rush was ALMOST fantastic and I harbored this feeling of iwanttodothisagain!!! HAHA
Went to a birthday bash which was FULFILLING. Should blog in point form(I am too lazy to type)
-suntec
-marche
-stingray+rosti+chickensausage+bimbodrink+stirfriedvege+doryfishpasta+thepopiahlikedblackpepperchicken+squid+……………..
-icecreamcake ( we ate like pigs- 3 person to a big cake. Fook!)
-songsdedication
-fountainofwealth
-camwhored
-blahblahblah
Oh yeah. I had my tarot card readings too. Well, I really need to PRIORITISE and I appreciate that. Seriously. I will definitely heed your advice. And and, jiahui gave me two free entry to MOS tickets. Please pray hard that they will allow me in this time. OMGOMGOMG.
I seriously need to thank JIAHUI AND XIN FOR MAKING MY DAY. Although we bitched a lot, you guys are still the closest in my heart. YAY!
Happy birthday to jiahui once again…
Expel? DEFINITELY NOT.
posted by Pepsi on 12:05 AM
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Tuesday, August 22, 2006
where's my source of motivation?!i wish i had the capability to do well in physics- the concepts, the formulae, the everything. i sorely lack in this area of intuition which everyone else seems to have.
i wish i had the power of perception to decipher this from that, instead of wondering if i was crazy or petty to come to conclusions which may or may not be true.
i wish i could just get out of this turmoil and live life as it is, previously.
i wish....
kai and jh a very happy birthday!
happybirthdaytoyou
happybirhtdaytoyou
happybirthdaytobothofyou
happybirhtdaytoyou!
posted by Pepsi on 10:50 PM
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Monday, August 21, 2006
why is it that when things start looking better, they always seem to fall back down so easily again?ok, i am back!! sorry for lack of updates been bloody busy this past week.
well obviously, there's this socio-political stuffs stirring up in my class. and i think everyone is living in FEAR as noone will know when he/she will be the next potential target.
sadly, it happens overnight.
i admit the fact that i bitch-ed alot. but that doesnt seem to quite potray the real BOONKIAT that i am. i've heard stories of battle scars, pirate ships; seen wounded hearts. but face it, life just has to go on, somehow. i am not against anyone or anything in particular. but the way that you react to trivial matters are like so superficial and to some extent, lame. i am really sorry to tell you this but hey, its the truth.
"... for a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him."
what has mastered you?
jealousy?
envy?
paranoia?
insecurity?
maybe what you have is never good enough. so you keep striving for more and you're never contented with the moment?
how do you handle it when you're life goes into a state of pandemonium because that which has mastered you is no longer there for you to depend on. what do you look to from that moment onwards? where is that wooden plank that always held you in place?
what if you get into a relationship and you become so emotionally dependent that you are her and she is you. two becomes one. you become so transparent that insecurity and fragility is inevitable. don't you just hate yourself for being so reliant on the one person who has the power to render you naught?
or maybe your state of being is on the other side of the spectrum.
life is just so. incredibly. boring. that you'd label your days the epitome of mundane.so inanely banal to the point of being surpassingly trifle.
maybe you should be a hermit and hibernate your life away..
and and, dont make it to my F-list.
posted by Pepsi on 9:02 PM
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