Tuesday, June 06, 2006
its been a long, long week (although its only 2 days) with a lot a lot of happenings that are not contributing anything to my spiritual development at all. hmmmm wait.. maybe it does contribute.. makes me more aware of myself and how much i actually still have to grow.. its only 9 days of hols but it felt like months.. and all before MYE too!!..a lot of things have been happening in my life and all i know is that i disappoint the people around me. being unrepentant is a horrible feeling. it numbs all your senses and you cant feel any feelings anymore- you have eyes but cant see, you have ears but cant hear.. that's the scary thing! cos after you have experienced your friends speaking at such an intimate level with you and one day, you realise that you cant hear from this voice that has become somewhat of a norm.. trust me, you'll freak out-
and if you dont persevere on to just cling on to that stubborn hope of wanting to hear that oh-so-wonderful voice again, den you are letting yourself drift away. and one day you'll drift so far that you start to think whether its worth it to turn back. it takes more effort to keep banging against the wall den to just stop and let the wall engulf you. thats how many people backslide i guess.. cos they dun wanna use effort to get back to when they could easily hear from their friends.. they try once, twice, thrice and maybe they failed..so they dun wanna try anymore..
my point here is, after having went through the atrocius supposedly "leadership" camp, i am not the backer, i am your supporter. trust me.
im not giving up this frenship.. im holding on to it.. there was a choice to make and i made it.
event coming up next---> rebirth @ MOS (16/6) - pls buy tics from mingfen.
posted by Pepsi on 9:42 PM
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