Friday, April 07, 2006
lets see.. block test was the crappiest thing in this whole year. dunno why its like more to study compared to promos. i intend to study but in the end, i played through. not to mention sleep.i really hope i scrape through. haha. and i am banking my hopes on chemistry. well, this is the only subject which i spent most of my time at, and it'll be very very disappointing if i were to do badly in it. how? haa
anyway, life's not that bad afterall. i've been nominated by my class, as well as the teacher, to represent the class for debating. OMG. i think they've chosen the wrong person- i am not very eloquent actually. pls, i will stammer in front of the panel can??? oh man.
yeah, i am officially a member of the percussion section in chinese orchestra. yay! my instructor is oblivious to my presence as i've zero experience towards music stuffs. anyway, its out of interest that i joined ok? speaking of my instructor, he's a perfectionist i reckon'. everything to be done out of perfection. kudos to him. hes the very same instructor from rjc too. so yeah, our jc's going to soar.
alright, i'm beginning to love pjc. give me some more time.
posted by Pepsi on 8:28 PM
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Thursday, April 06, 2006
i am too proud of my own good.
isn't it funny how some days you feel absolutely annoyed at everything yet nothing at the same time? you cant quite tell whats pissing you off and yet you feels like the whole world is conspiring against you.
the way you tried so hard makes me feel almost guilty, but nt yet. pls try to believe me when i say "i dont know why i'm like this". oh, lets just put it under another of my mood swings. OR NOT!
you dont just keep taking without giving- it doesnt quite work out that way, dude. karma baby, karma. i've always believed in that, do you?
yesterday i was thinking if i had made the wrong choice. today i am thinking if deep down i just want perfection, and looking for it in all the wrong places.
so come what next?
i am the newly appointed GP rep. not that my english is very powerful or sorts- its just that the teacher wants me to be a substitute for someone of a higher calibre? cos she is now the so-called -hmm- welfare rep. oh whatever, at least i have some position in the class (actually everyone in the class holds a post.) but i think thats almost crap. beat the system? u bet. i dun wanna be outcasted once more. BYE! (disgusted grin)
posted by Pepsi on 8:48 PM
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Tuesday, April 04, 2006
once again i've failed in all my attempts to sleep early. why oh why! the earliest i've conked out was like 12am rahh. i want to go back to my 10 pm days. i'm afraid i think wrongly then i'll either turn up late for little lambs or one hour early for my exams. yikes, next tues will not be a happy day for me. chemistry common test, oh no. but then, i get to mug the rest for the tests, those fools who take chem, physics and math 2. hahah and then there's always people like "nerdo" who take EVERYTHING. hahaha so he's gotta study straight through from mon to fri. i was so excited about my holidays but then i realised i've got tons of work to do, whether it's catching up with sch work or other rubbish. rahh i'm not a happy child am i.its all in the brain if you can find yours. arrggh. hAHA.
i'm loving beep by pcd.
posted by Pepsi on 9:44 PM
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Monday, April 03, 2006
green, blinking, red.
Yesterday night, I strongly believed that the traffic lights would turn green just for me today.
None of the traffic lights turned green for me today so I just blatantly crossed the road with good faith that no car would crash onto me. Yeah. This is tough life man. And it rained today. Quite good. But without the sun, I feel a bit sad. I need the sun in the day to keep me alive, and hopeful.
Nowadays, I feel very lost whenever a school week is coming to an end on Friday. I get my much needed rest during the weekends but recently, I just simply wish for a never-ending school week.
Yesterday, I felt so much more comfortable clinging on to my bolster, and hugging the extra fluffy pillow when I was on my bed. I like those quiet moments before I sleep. I think those are the times when I cry the most too. I begin to feel for something that I choose to ignore during the day. Suddenly, I have so much to say. New Zealand Pig knows me best. I tell him all my things every night before I sleep. I do not know where the sense of security comes from at those times. In fact, I think maybe that feeling is not exactly a sense of security. It is a really comfortable feeling.
Perhaps, undeniably, it feels like love. A very pure, simple form of love. Where does this love come from? I do not know. Maybe memories. Maybe all along, I have been crying to, and feeling loved in my memories.
I thank my memories. I am feeling a bit melancholy. I wish for the sun tomorrow. I would want to see the sun shining for me again when I go to school tomorrow.
I'm leaving this emotional baggage here. BYE!
posted by Pepsi on 7:39 PM
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