Friday, May 13, 2005
sparkling stardom.pardon my lack of zeal in blogging todae.
i'm awfully tired.
even though i just woke up from an hour-plus of slumber.
for the thirty-forth day in a row,
he hasn't talked to me.
he's gonna do what those mother-fuckers did.
im pretty sure.by all means. why would i care.
dun fucking crap with me that you're busy.
when i first met you,
you weren't exactly a very free person, either.
dun be a friggin' coward.
fucking come talk to me and tell me wats wrong.
after her, after him, after everybody. and you.
i'm friggin' disappointed with the people around me.
wtf. you tink im a dildo ?
*sigh*
a dried leaf had fallen from the big big tree.
a cool breeze blew past my face.
feeling so forlorn.
sign off,
with pessimism.
posted by Pepsi on 10:22 PM
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Thursday, May 12, 2005
the insignificant smile.Bending double,
folded over myself.
aches my back
but it is nothing,
to the ache
you left in front of me.
physical pain,
simple and clean.
so pls,
keep all those sharp objects
away from me.
Knife.
Scalpel.
Stiletto.
Scimitar.
Blade, blade, blade.
why, some of them are even smiling?
Once there were pictures on TVof a massacre
a young man's throat, cut
and his smaller, gentle smile above.
me, having the very last smile,
ever so since that day.
i am very taxed.
and u have added fuel to fire.
thanks guys.
thanks for making me realise that i got into the wrong mixture of friends,
which in turn refers to you.
sign off,
half-asleep.
posted by Pepsi on 6:17 PM
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Wednesday, May 11, 2005
locked-up.u noticed me.
why are we strangers
and yet out "feeling" is so strong?
i am the only.
feeling ever so lonely when you walked on by.
i try to say something
but end up with nothing.
thinking to myself,
i am such a failure.
i pretend my cool but it turned pretendous.
yeah. its obvious i diaoed you.
and i have yet recovered from that stab you thursted into my heart.
please forgive me.
i know my weakness had caused u pain
but i am going to make you believe
that you are still once considered my good friend.
signing off.
walking-zombie-to-be.
posted by Pepsi on 10:42 PM
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Tuesday, May 10, 2005
brought back from slumber.i awoke.
i lay looking at the ceiling while my memory did a fast rewind
and the events of today crystallised my mind like little ice cubes.
i couldn't have gotten such results. i couldn't have been so careless.
i couldn't.. just can't.
anyway, i got a pathetic b3 for my chinese.
despite of all the hard work i put in.
...why?
answers after answers flowed into my mind with all the
inevitability of a tax demand.
"here."
it took me a moment to realize that
this wasn't a voice in my head,
but real human words that had been formed by
a mouth and transferred to my ears
by a convenient system of air compression,
as nature intended.
nature had gone to a lot of trouble
for one word with a slightly petulant tone to it.
i was dejected.
plain disappointment.
it occurred to me that i ought to feel horrified of my results,
so i was slightly shocked to find that i wasn't.
i am all so emtpy now. but not at all empty.
sry. i don't know why am i writing this.
but i just feel like writing. saddened by my results.
need to get hands-on with some revision.
i dun wish unsatisfactory results to due on me ONCE more.
sign off.
non compos mentis.
posted by Pepsi on 5:48 PM
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Monday, May 09, 2005
hedonism.i can see a gleam of light coming my way.
oh yes. yes it is.
the probability of me clinching this prestigious status is very high.
i am so gratified.
not at all feeling a ghost of a thrill.
luck has dawned upon me.
and nevertheless, i shall make full use of it NOW.
just got to realise that the admission joint has created another path for us.
that is to say,
we don't have to focus on our academic area to get into those
top jcs in town.
muahaha..
gonna train hard in my swimming and tah-dah,
get my butts in anglo-chinese.
gosh.
exams have its way through this month,
so, i think i can't spare some time for my training.
hmm... should set aside some time to train.
no doubt, i should give it a try in the interviews.
ha. i shall brush up on my english and spit it all out during that day.
hope that all schools might accept me.
hopefully.
nonetheless, i still need to mugg for the o's.
p.s i wont be blogging as i need to revise for my exams.
try to keep my promise on this. shhhss
posted by Pepsi on 9:47 PM
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Sunday, May 08, 2005
isolated.stop torturing me.
from today onwards, i will live the way i want.
i will not live with those self-imposed rules that does not
in some ways, a neccesity for me.
now that i have regain (should i say) my equanimity,
i shall not behold these plebeian axiom you implemented.
i am going to be me.
you have made a big hoo-haa of me being imperfect,
in some ways or another.
this is devastating, to me.
pls turn over YOUR mind and stop those hot air of yours.
you guys are so pathetic.
duh.
feeling unparalled recently.
after that pestilent contretemps.
u are such a philistine.
sorry to those who have good impression on them.
but once my impression of them changed,
none can alter my thinking for them.
just get out of my sight and i will be grateful for it.
don't step into my boundary.
and never should you have to interfere about my life.
i am feeling so vacuous. sry for being so curt in my blog.
i have overcame that incident. but i still yet feel that they are superb.
people, pls have a say.
i need opinions.
they sucks.
that's what i think.
things aren't forgotten and i shall never forgive them.
such a waste of my energy.
end.
posted by Pepsi on 4:12 PM
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